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I can't control my anger, can't stop to hate you and everyone in the world.
Here, now and forever I see nothing but poison, the venom enchains my dead body.
I feel so abnoxious to wake up again.
How could hell be any worse?
Every day is disgusting life shit.
I can't fight it, can't fix it.
It feels like scaffold where I wait for my end.
Feels like anvil falls on my head.
Manacles and prison are so narrow.
Hollow orbits are aimed to hide the rot inside of all mankind.
We are the most disgusting creation of nature.
And won't even ever justify ourselves.
The heart of stone forbids creation.
Anyway, I сlap my eye on you not without a reason.
Your job is done for now.
My aim is hit twice.
The weak shall cease.
So you will.
Genuine face is replaced with multiple virtuous masks.
You will someday know about it, don't be quick.
Nothing is enough effective if you stand against yourself.
Epileptic fits to seek forgiveness, idle screams to purge this souls won't be heard.
All the apples are poisoned.
You'll end this life to find a realm which would be a better place than this .
I want this ground quake and splinter your home.
Everyone you've ever loved are devoured by me.
You are despared of beeing alive.
Praying god to take you back home.
While You're so full of life and free.
I'm caged, i'm nothing,
I hate you, I'm jelous.
And I want to savage everything and everyone you've ever lived for.
I'll turn you into obidient twin,
A substance with no personality who bothers to feel alive hiding scars of scourge.
I Don't give up in my intentions to demolish sanity of man.
GO!
Grind Decaying awful crud and let it rot.
You are the problem god created.
and just another position to be erased and never be born again.
Die.
As soon as clock strikes seven I will enough enough close
To smell elation you expose to get and hide the dose
Of us as image of couple of twins who tightly bind into a knot.
I set my foot on neck of my hostage below.
I'm sure and hope it's fun.
I'm not fine if you want to find the way out.
Your inner freedom is not an option.
It's your insanity plea.
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Leprous mind lies far behind from the inner man.
So what if I could act to kill your life?
what if I will be the cause of trouble?
I am the origin of loathing.
Fake a tale to spoil the name of someone innocent.
Then plant a seed of hesitation into the rotting brain.
I'm fed up with leaving.
Just make a sound.
Make your heart beat in a wrong way.
Create the image of god with face like mine.
A guity conscience needs no accuser - it's paralyzed.
Coin more - here's the friend o Judas
Single coin less - here's the traitor
Will you spare enough much to see differences?
Much enough to distinguish a monster?
Please, tell me about the time when you were not just a zero.
So let me be your star and guide you in darkness
Chill in blood . It wouldn't last forever.
And let this affection mislead you in wrong direction.
Where you won't ask for answers.
I bet you will never regret it.
Just stay in dark
Be unaware of what I do and why.
Only a few ones merit the lucky second chance.
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3. |
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Luminiscence.
A shapeless glow of descent,
Companion in my senceless wandering .
All people stare on my fluttering and dancing in the breeze.
Pupils widen. Heart pumps poisoned blood.
Brain damage makes me shake, oh, God.
I feel will explode.
Can't recognize my words, can't understand what I'm thinking about.
I am frightened, oh, God.
It feels like I'm so close to explode.
Tonight I see us dancing like two histerical fireflyes in dying convulsions.
Like a farewell song of cripled orphan I distort the air.
Pervasive coma is a result of drowning deep in the lights.
Colored bright I carry the cross through the votex of event horizon.
Colored black I'm crucified by deaf parsons.
Ravens peck my eyes and broken skin.
Vagrants cut my flesh away.
My corpse corrodes by shivering glows.
And all I want is to be part of it.
Belive me, You'll find a place to hide.
You're so alone. Afraid. And smile at me.
Molten bars. Fractured cages.
I see the exit door outside but I'm stuck here.
All my inmates evaporate in expance.
A viscous fog decomposes.
ones who are voracious for the air are incinerated and dispelled
While the swollen ancients draw a breath.
Luminiscence.
A shapeless glow of descent,
Companion in my senceless wandering.
Watch my deformed fluttering dancing in the fading breeze.
Watch my deformed fluttering dancing in the fading dawn.
Dawn brings the consternation for the oncoming day.
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4. |
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The concept of profound control over the human is my obsession.
You are my property. I treat you like a merchandise.
I wish I could tear you in pieces.
I am addicted to you as much as I hate you.
You have no right for malice,
No chance to defeat me.
Though we both know why it happens to us
We are happy even if you can't amend anything.
United as carrier and parasite we are so inseparable.
Among the psychic junk
I'm waiting for time to melt us together.
Someday you'll become an exhausted martyr
Which will express only regret
Taking step over the line
Between the useless existence and something purely divine.
Stress and despair. Alcohol. Sedatives. No way back.
Mess. Musty air. Not your fault. Things will never be the same for you.
Noble swan appears in black with a fractured neck.
Virgin fades in fragrant lust.
Such a drama for us.
The blur of guilt will be washed away from my name.
The purity is the proper shade of decay.
Can you feel it if you’re alienated?
Make sure you've cut yourself spilling blood
Oh, you're on your knees.
Does your last disease make humiliations nice?
Please, bury your honor unknown.
Win the rising sun.
I want more.
Could you show the exit door?
I quit your paltry life.
Tell me darling why are you still crying about the scum like me?
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5. |
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I woke up in the morning.
My friend, I wasn't alright.
How could I wake up in the morning
If I was dead that night?
I woke up in the morning.
It felt like nothing was wrong.
It's such an odd and terrible story.
And such a beautiful song.
Tending to be a mediocrity.
Nothing hurts if you don't have a heart.
Just keep it a secret.
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6. |
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Watch your lay figure passing away
with my frigid applause.
Your plastic face melts in my arms.
Radiant mannequin smile drowns slow in molten wax.
Erasing your identity, distorting your entire form
And leaving mess.
I am your shape corrector,
The sculptor of the revolting condition of your sanity.
Refrain from pleasure to run.
Face it.
You have a malignant form of an altered mind.
Your inutility has reached its climax.
Tell your friends you're worthless and throw yourself away.
Your golden swallow stumbles and falls down from the rooftop.
There are some reasons why I watch you die of regrets.
You can't realize the depth of pit.
I feel tedious about dissembling.
I feel tedious about this masquerade.
Frail legs walk unsteady ground.
A ravaged figure finds consolation
in a sorrow and awareness оf one's own defectiveness.
Frightened victim can't get rid of a villain.
It chose a path of prey.
Still being sad
'cause you're a part of it.
I still have no excuses.
So let's get nice.
No apologies.
Stop crying, don't waste your mascara.
I stabbed your back, I put a noose on your neck
Then watch your spirit miscarry.
It won't be fair if someone kicks that chair.
Just hang around, don't taint the floor.
I am the master of your predestination.
It feels nice.
The scratch of scissors cutting the rope sounds really nice.
Surrender. You're alive but it doesn't make much sence.
Stay.
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7. |
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A Figure depletes in a glass of misfortune.
Worn down of convincing oneself figure anticipates the chimerical pursuit
Of a miracle floating in eternal disgust.
Figure retires from reality
Fading to a brightest gloom of vicarious thoughts.
A single touch and my heart tears itself apart.
Will you defend it?
Just let me make a mistake with a spiteful snake.
'cause I'm not prepared for the war.
I am defaced with a mud and lust, rained with hysteria
Of somnific reveals, warped out with deceit.
I crumble and fall to ashes.
Murderous sounds break the canvas, tear the ears apart.
Man sinks in slops up to one's neck.
No way for better life.
Miserable existance is your fate.
Try to find the exit. Die trying.
I Sent your kids to dig a graves for themselves.
I Sent your kids to dig their latest home.
Chain them in a casket as a source of a dismal melody.
Slough of despond.
A subtle pleasure to be beaten and devastated.
Slough of despond.
A subtle pleasure to be humiliated.
Why won't I stand up and run towards bright horizons?
Why won't I stand up and fight?
Why won't you let me away?
Romance has turned to backbite,
Hunter has turned into prey.
Encore! Encore! Encore!
Turn me into prey!
Encore! Encore! Encore!
Turn me.
Severed throat is fringed with trail of lipstick,
Disemboweled with a single kiss.
She asks to take her hand again,
Though we both know she means something obscene.
Capture this moment in your mind,
Frame only terror and deceit.
This is our last moment.
We've built an artificial wall between our poisoned minds
To break it once again.
This scene ends with deceiving and plenty wiredrawn hopes and promises.
Unbearable.
I can't stay here with you.
Unbearable.
I'm so indefensible.
This violent heat grows into deadly chilling.
I'm frozen up to a bone.
With no opportunity to thaw out.
You are virus, aimed on self-deprecation.
This maze is still impassable.
Unconscious tendency to pin a blame on the beloved and make one feel like
A slave in the chains of amber,
Blindfolded with wonder has no chance to cease.
Result is self-defeating.
Someone told me that I've already seen the best of whole lifetime.
I'm afflicted to believe in a coming day when I will face the worst.
I draw my future so bright and in the past I keep the best,
Taking no notice of present moment.
As if I put my life aside,
As if I can ammend it.
As if I can change anything.
I can't attempt to repel an optimistic thoughts.
I hope thing are better.
I can't attempt to repel an optimistic thoughts.
I hope thing will come better.
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released March 30, 2018
